The Best College Meal You Will Ever Lay Your Taste Buds On

By Meredyth Staunch on April 30, 2017

College: the asylum consisting of a lack of parental control, a sanctuary where you can binge-watch your favorite Netflix series without any shame, and undoubtedly, the finest cuisine of dorm food or hot-and-ready macaroni and cheese.

Certainly, mom and dad’s home cooked meals are savory — everything from grilled steaks, to chicken Vesuvio, and freshly-baked muffins. But who says us college students cannot divulge our taste buds on our own terms? While we are incomparable to that of Emeril Lagasse, or even Bobby Flay, I think it is safe to say that we have exceeded the terms of Chef Boyardee and are ready to progress up the cooking ladder to meet Mario Batali or Giada De Laurentiis.

http://suffolktimes.timesreview.com

Whether you are carb-loading, ravenous for carbs, or just want to fill your empty belly with processed, nutrient-low carbs, the college kitchen is where the magic happens. Have a roomie dinner, gorging on more than just Ramen noodles; invite your significant other over and try not to poison him or her. These easy cooking steps are sure to progress you away from a UNICEF-child status and into the well-fed, Food-Network, overweight-Chopped-judging category.

1. Read your single-serve Kraft Easy Mac directions — pretty simple and straight-forward. The end.

2. After you have prepared your delectable cheesy concoction, make the most sugary, brainless single-serve oatmeal: Quaker Oats’ “heart healthy” instant oatmeal. Spice it up with some cinnamon, peanut butter, banana — whatever your heart desires, literally.

3. Gather two eggs and fry them in a pan. Make sure you fully cook them through; no one has time for Salmonella.

http://suffolktimes.timesreview.com

4. Next step in the process is a doozy: grilled cheese sandwiches. I always run out of cheese, so borrow your roommate’s cheese sticks, or if you’re lucky, maybe he or she has sliced cheese. Slap some on two pieces of bread and put it together. Microwave it for about two minutes, and hopefully it doesn’t become hockey-puck consistency.

5. Lastly, this is the moment we have all been waiting for (cue the lights). The infamous Ramen noodles is making an appearance. Follow the directions for adequate preparation: add the water, seasoning packet, and microwave the gluttonous mixture.

6. Combine the meals together in one large bowl and let all five food groups aggregate: high fructose corn syrup, the-not-so-whole-grains, MSG, hydrogenated oils, and artificial dyes.

Share with your friends; share with your parents when you get back home for summer break; submit the recipe to Food Network itself. I am sure you will not be the only one reaping the meal’s nutritional benefits. Stay tuned for next issue’s introduction to the ideal room décor: tornado of clothes or picture-overload.

Follow Uloop

Apply to Write for Uloop News

Join the Uloop News Team

Discuss This Article

Get Top Stories Delivered Weekly

Back to Top

Log In

Contact Us

Upload An Image

Please select an image to upload
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format
OR
Provide URL where image can be downloaded
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format

By clicking this button,
you agree to the terms of use

By clicking "Create Alert" I agree to the Uloop Terms of Use.

Image not available.

Add a Photo

Please select a photo to upload
Note: must be in .png, .gif or .jpg format